Can SuperMatt Save The Library?

After we returned home from a protest at our local library in reaction to proposed council cuts Matt announced to his Dad 'I have done something important today. I have saved Newport library.' If only it were that simple. If only it were true. As it stands we are currently living in a Choose Your Own Adventure story here. (My sister loved her CYOA books. I felt under too much pressure to make the decisions.) In reality the council will be deciding the ending for this story. So, the fight is just beginning for Super Matt and his short, pin-headed sidekick Iron(ing) Mam.

This post was always going to happen. I had been thinking about writing a celebration of all things library for quite some time. Now it is more of a necessity rather than an indulgence. Unfortunately our regular library visits had dwindled with the festive season upon us. So this new year I planned to get us back into the saddle. And then visit the library more. Where better to spend an hour on a cold winter's day? Hmmm good question. One we may need to ask ourselves more and more in the near future because the reading journey we take for granted is about to take a turn for the worse. When I read about the Council proposals to cut six of the local libraries, the mobile library service, and many other crucial services, I felt like someone had ripped out the back page of my book. This is not how I thought it would all turn out. Yes, the good folk of the Shire will still have some libraries left including the all singing all dancing flagship library at Southwater but many of us still use, and rely on the regional libraries.  I feel obliged as one of these citizens to present the case as to why our libraries should be saved. And it is my duty as Matt's side kick to come up with some sort of cunning plan for how we might defend them.

SuperMatt and IronMam first leapt into action by completing the Council's online survey. We gave our two penneth on the importance of the libraries as much as we could within the structure of survey. The consultation process wants feedback on how the changes to the library, parks and other services may affect you and your household. Well, dear survey, thanks for asking but this is is not really the point. I will indeed tell you what the library and such mean to me but I would also like to make clear that the real issue is that these services affect us all. The potential loss of such services do not need to directly affect me for me to be able to recognise their value and to leap to their defence. Some of the proposed changes will have an affect on my household, some cuts will have a profound impact on other households. Either way the cuts will be felt within our community and society as we know it will be doomed. Doomed I tells ya.

The second phase of our battle plan was to borrow as many books from Newport library as would my card would allow. We went one better when we found ourselves at the right place at the right time. We had chosen coats and woollies instead of tights and capes but as we stood outside Newport library with an angry mob we felt pretty powerful all the same. We stood united on a cold and dreary day all holding a library book to show our support. The boy never complained despite the cold and lack of snacks. The Lego book he chose to use to promote his librarylove probably would not win the CILIP but it did keep him entertained. Isn't that the point? 

This is why

Matt took it all in his stride. I, however, felt at a loss as to how we have come to this. How could I explain why the institution we cherish is undervalued to the point of potential closure and how do I convince Matt of the need to stop this machine in its tracks?

Neil Gaiman eloquently puts it: We have an obligation to support libraries. To use libraries, to encourage others to use libraries, to protest the closure of libraries. If you do not value libraries then you do not value information or culture or wisdom. You are silencing the voices of the past and you are damaging the future.

I went with 'Matt, we need to fight to keep the libraries open so we can keep coming and borrowing books'. At the word 'fight' Matt went into 'put 'em up' mode and was ready to do battle. Whilst my four year old son may not need much persuasion to fight, other people may need convincing. So, here are some of my reasons for using the local libraries and why we all need to fight for them.

A Sense of Belonging
My earliest library memories are of the mobile library van that used to visit my estate. I loved how it creaked and rocked and smelled. The children's books were all at one end in low down shelves so that I could browse for myself. I also loved it when the chip van visited at the same time. I was pretty excited when the new town library opened in the late 80s and it did not disappoint. This was something else. The children's section was more than a tub in the corner. It was an actual dedicated area of a multitude of books for me to wade through. Oh the possibilities. I spent a great deal of time in that library over the years. This was not because it was the biggest, which it was. It was not because it was the best, which it seemed. It was because I could walk there from my house. It was local. Had it been a bus journey away things could have turned out rather differently. I used it for GCSE revision, A Level revision, and degree research. Because it was there. It was familiar and it felt like mine. Until I left home and found other libraries. I also discovered that chips taste different up north.

Libraries still provide me with this sense of belonging. I got hit by a ball and my glasses fell off on the terraces of a football match; my specs used to steam up in the pub; I never know all the songs at a gig; but in the library I feel at home. In the library I am the queen of the jungle. Hear me roar (though very quietly obvs.) I am not sure if my young cub feels the same way as me yet but he certainly knows his way around the book jungles that we visit. It can't just be me who feels this way. Help me out, Roald:

So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world likes ships into the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopefully and comforting message: You are not alone.

A Way of Life
We read therefore we library. It is that simple. Also the books are free. Need I go on? OK then. Libraries have fed my reading addiction for many years but these days it is not just about me. My library trips have changed somewhat since the boy came along. We have made our home in the childrens' sections of the various libraries in our town although I do try and grab something for me from the quick picks shelf as I am hauled past. (It is a risky reading strategy.)   Visiting the different libraries is just part of the routine for us. Which library depends on our schedule but it still features in our week. We sometimes visit Newport library when shopping. We used to visit Wellington when we had Tumble Tots or had been swimming. We visit Southwater when we visit the town park or Town Centre. We used to use HLC library a lot when Matt had football class. Dawley library is a nice option after the park. And sometimes we go because it is just something that we do. J K Rowling gets it: “...why’s she got to go to the library?” “Because that’s what Hermione does”.
 
Despite the notion that the library is becoming outdated I have found we are using it more than ever. As a mother I rely on the library to offer an endless supply of books. We need this free and constant supply of books to continue in order to preserve our way of life - please don't cut us off, gov.

Educational Experience
Having researched three degrees, the library, for me, has always been an important educational institution. As a mother, the library has taken on a further educational role. The responsibility to nurture  Matt's social, emotional, and intellectual development rests on these here shoulders. Any activities and experiences that help us to learn, bond, and understand the world a little more, are most valuable. Visiting the library ticks all of these boxes. It is my duty to put in place the building blocks of learning, literacy and a general love of books but we also learn much more at the library. The library is a different environment and Matt has learned how to adapt. He understands that libraries are places we read, we bond, we borrow, and we respect other people and we respect the shared property and space. He understands that these are places where we follow the rules. It is not somewhere we climb, run, eat, or shout. That is soft play or the park. Some parents may do well to learn that. The library also teaches responsibility. Responsibility for the books, for borrowing books, for our behaviour, and also for his own reading preferences and experiences. The act of choosing, sitting, and reading together makes a visit to the library a positive nurturing experience which will hopefully mean that Matt will find reading and literacy a natural and familiar activity in future. 

The need to preserve the act of reading in a library is about creating a positive educational experience. It is also crucial for developmental purposes that children to have access to a variety of books.  Children need real tangible books to explore and discover for themselves. They like flaps, pop ups, things to touch, and pages to turn. The print market is superior to the ebook market for children's literature. When TV, YouTube, and e-readers are competing to tell stories to your children it is important to hold onto these active story telling experiences and prioritise them above the more passive narratives of the former.

Visiting the library is an enriching experience in so many ways. We always leave the library knowing more than when we went in.

Libraries Fire the Imagination 

When you go to the library you never know where it will take you. I often imagine the two of us sitting cuddled up on a sofa reading a wonderfully uplifting and amusing tale. Sometimes this happens- we find books such as The Midnight Library (lovely book and most relevant). Sometimes our trips involve Matt wanting me to read a Tween book because it has a pony on the cover or begging me to read a story in Hindi because there is a lion on the front. We read a far wider range of books because of the library than we would if we were restricted to our home collection built on gifts and my whims. 

The library inspires the imagination beyond the reading material too. Matt's imaginative play can take me to wondrous worlds and usually ends with a battle of some sort. Some is from TV, some is from books, and some is from real life. When he asks to play libraries I feel my heart could burst with pride. He was two when this first happened:

Matt: Mummy can we play libraries? Me: Sure. Matt: Shhhh I am reading!

More recently Matt has incorporated my glasses and his till into the game. It looks pretty serious but also way more fun than how I used to improvise with a date stamp and an After Eight Mints box.

 

Children play at real life. This is what he knows. These are the moments when I know I have got some of this parenting schizzle right. 

A Place of Inspiration
A library does not need to have a stunning vista or a high arched ceiling or classic columns to be able to inspire. Any library can guide, encourage, motivate, or surprise a visitor. Whatever the question the library has the answer. 

Since starting this blog I have relied upon the library to offer an endless supply of books. I found books that I would not have necessarily found through online bookshops. It is also a good place to identify trends. It is here that we discover new books, new authors, new characters, new worlds, new words. It is essential for broadening our book collection and for keeping the reading momentum up.

The library also inspires and serves some of Matt's obsessions: dinosaurs, dragons, machines, guinea pigs, and our bones. Fact or fiction I am always interested to see which books Matt will select and those he discards. The libraries have served up a good range of horse books which has kept him informed and entertained. 

Another way the library inspires me is with ideas for cooking. Cook books are really pricey and often I get them home to discover I only like one or two recipes from the entire book. So when I decided to return to a meat free diet last year the library was my first port of call. My problem with a lot of vegetarian cookbooks is that I am not interested in dessert section. I am capable of making a meat free pud without a cookbook. Anyhoo, this is a much more cost effective way of trying out new recipes. 

The library broadens our horizons. There is a world of opportunity and possibility within a library. The things I could learn, the places I could go, the things I could do although, to be honest, I am usually too busy reading. And learning Hindi.

As Sanctuary
Another vital reason that I need the library is that it is essentially a place of peace and quiet. Surely this is something we all value? Maybe not all of us. In typical Matt style this happened:
Matt: Why are we going to the library- it is just books?
Me: Exactly

This is precisely why I need the library and why I teach him that we act differently in the library. That it is good to have peace and quiet. Life is not all about swings and roundabouts (particularly if the proposed cuts to our parks go ahead.) You know my need to slow down and pause...The library, for me, is a place of refuge. From the weather. From Cbeebies. From putting Lego Evel Kneivel on his motorbike every other minute. Seeking a soundbite for this here blog post I asked Matt what he thought people would do without the library. He answered succinctly with a wisdom beyond his years and with a tinge of general apathy worthy of his exact age: 'I just don't know. Do you want to see me do a cartwheel?' See what I mean? I need a place where wrestling and roly-polies are just not tennis; a place to give our minds a work out (or a rest) rather than our bodies.

The library is also a safe haven for other people, some in much more serious need than us. The library is for people needing somewhere to go, somewhere to be. We used to visit HLC library after football class each Saturday and there would often be some school children doing their homework on the computers. For what ever reason (internet access, safety, peace) they were there. The library was safe and accessible and presumably was chosen rather than being at home. Where would they go if it closes? The local library keeps people safe and keeps me sane.

A Community Lifeline

Tucked away in a quiet corner of the Shire a visit to the nearest library is one way that we feel connected to the larger community. For some it is the only way. The proposed cuts will go deeper for these people. We need to stand up for those people whose voices may well get lost in this debate. For these very people, the library needs to be safeguarded.

As aforementioned (I really am in essay mode now) the library is crucial for children. According to one article the community aspect of libraries, including storytimes/rhymetimes and free picture books is especially important for parents and children alike. This article claims that children can easily read five books per week and all but the most wealthy parents could not easily afford this. 

The library is also an essential bastion of independence and socialisation for older readers. Not everyone has a kindle, internet access, or transportation. So the threatened mobile library provides a crucial service. This library bus serves parts of the community who may not be able to access the town libraries. It provides regular social contact for people.  If this service was to be cut people would suffer. If it is cut in conjunction with the other libraries we are at risk of isolating some of the most vulnerable members of our communities.  

Visiting the library is not just a middle class past-time. It is important to keep the libraries available in the more deprived areas of the town too. The local libraries serve the young, the old, and everyone in between. Job seekers, new members of the community, etc. all rely upon access to the information freely available at the library. In many ways the library keeps disadvantaged people on an even footing. So even if the scores on the doors are lower for some libraries it does not mean that they are failing. You cannot measure their service or quality in footfall. How can we quantify something that is invaluable? We need to protect the library for the people who may not use it as a regular hobby but use it when necessary. We certainly need to bear in mind that those who may not be able to complete the consultation survey could be those who need the library most of all.

A Crucial Public Institution

A further reason to protect the library is that it gives so much to individuals, communities, and society but asks very little in return (apart from returning your books.) What other public institutions operate on trust and allow you unlimited access and possession of their collections? We need to protect it for the very reason that it gives us a freedom that other places do not. It serves as a democratic institution that is for everyone. All people are equal within the library. Unless you have fines. Should we mention the query on your card, Mrs Y?

A public institution needs to serve its public's needs. It does not have to stand as a shiny symbol of a town's success. Even the older and more jaded libraries can stand proud on the high street as our well worn servants. They serve the people. They preserve our literary heritage and will guide our future endeavours. Yet we are told that the library is becoming obsolete. The public library is going through tough times in general in this fast developing world. This is why we need to help our libraries to weather the storm. Our councils and working groups should be looking for ways to develop the library to serve our changing needs in this new era. As modern life demands so much of us our need for answers, direction, education, contact, and peace, will need to be met. So far from being defunct the libraries are more important than ever.

As Philip Pullman puts it: I love the public library service for what it did for me as a child and as a student and as an adult. I love it because its presence in a town or a city reminds us that there are things above profit, things that profit knows nothing about, things that have the power to baffle the greedy ghost of market fundamentalism, things that stand for civic decency and public respect for imagination and knowledge and the value of simple delight...Leave the libraries alone. You don’t know the value of what you’re looking after. It is too precious to destroy.

If a library can provide all of the above to this library user then imagine how it is serving the community as a whole. If it can continue to serve the needs of our community then it is doing its job. By fighting for the libraries I feel I am doing mine. 

From this experience I have taught Matt some essential life lessons: reminded him that books are captivating; proven to him that libraries are important to many people; taught him that words are great weapons; acquiesced to him that his feet are powerful (not just for kicking). And finally, schooled him in a crucial rule: you keep playing to the whistle (even when the ball hits you in the face).

So is this as far as it goes for SuperMatt and IronMam? 
Can they really help save the library? 
How can they get a happy ending?  

Well, kind citizen, since you asked, here's the plan:
 

1.If you are a local you can fill in this online survey or visit a library and ask for a paper copy. You may not even agree with me but your opinion matters. Ish. It really depends on how far you intend to disagree with me. You have until Feb 7th.

2. Support your local library and borrow an armful of books. Check them out correctly though or it will prove counter productive. (She even notches up a library pun. Quiet cheers and soft high fives).

3. See the library as the information hub. My friend makes a real effort to say let's go to the library rather than use a search engine to find stuff out. 
Neil Gaiman claims that Google can bring you back 100,000 answers, a librarian can bring you back the right one. So surely that is effective time management?

4. READ. 
I am most concerned that we are being dragged into a numbers game but libraries are about words.
So my solution is to read books. Particularly, if you are in a position of influence or part of the decision making machine. I cannot think of a more convincing case for the local library than that found in one of my favourite children's books and with one of the most wonderful characters ever created. Read Matilda.  It won't take long and you can do your sums tomorrow. Read it to yourself. Read it to your children, or your grandchildren. Think about how good that book is. Think about how great the books are that Matilda reads. Think about the role of the library in her life. Consider how the book would have turned out had her library been shut or the librarian untrained. (She may have ended up needing one of the other services the council are considering cutting.) But just read it. You don't even need to buy it- go find it in your library. But be quick we don't have much time.

Merry Bookmas

It is 24 nights before Christmas and all through the house,

Matt is not sleeping and nor is the spouse.

My stocking is hung by the chimney with care

In the hope that he will leave lots of books in there.

Seasons Greetings.

To celebrate that December has finally arrived we thought we would recommend our favourite Christmas reads. There is another reason to dust them off early too- so far this year there is a danger that Matt's favourite Christmas book will be the Argos catalogue. I feel the need to get to grips with what Christmas is really about. You know- donkeys, cats, pigs, postmen and blooming chimneys.

But what is your criteria for a fine Christmas book, dear lady? Well, since you asked, I think that a good Christmas book needs great illustrations, a heartwarming tale, an ounce of moral fibre, and also to take you straight into a snowy, holly filled world. I also want it to smell of Baileys and crackle like a coal fire. Matt wants the book to feature Father Christmas, elves, and presents. And a blue swivel office chair- oops Argos again.

So without further ado here are our 12 books of Christmas.

Twelve Lords a Leaping
That book in the library with flaps and set on a farm that we read last year? 
Thanks for your help, Matt. After thorough research I think the book in question is Christmas with the Boot family. A pleasant book for young ones indeed.

Eleven Ladies Dancing
The Snowman is the beautiful story of the boy who befriends said snowman. I actually have my sister's copy from 30 years ago. Don't tell her. However this story has such a sad ending that I can rarely bring myself to read it. Try thinking of this book without hearing Aled Jones singing in your noggin too.

Ten Pipers Piping

Twas The Night Before Christmas is the epic tale of St Nicholas' visit on Christmas Eve. Our book makes amazing noises and plays Jingle Bells. This is one of the few noisy books I actually enjoy. However the language is a little ye olde for Matt.

Nine Drummers Drumming

Norman the Slug Who Saved Christmas is a super seasonal sequel. It is brief and bright so a pleasant read. Matt is not sure about the presents wrapped using slime. I am pretty certain he will love that idea in a year or two though.

Eight Maids a Milking
Stick Man is a lovely Julia Donaldson book about the perils of being a stick. It has a nice Christmassy happy ending. However the book does fill me with guilt as we do commit many a stick offence- swords, kindling, etc.

Seven Swans A Swimming

How The Grinch Stole Christmas  is an entertaining tale with great illustrations and lovely rhymes. However, Matt is not too sure. He likes Max the dog but covers up The Grinch on some of the pages. He is not a huge fan but (Sam) I am.

Six Geese A Laying

Lucy and Tom At Christmas is another gem by Shirley Hughes. It heralds back to a simpler time and it brings back nostalgic memories of Christmasses from the not too distant past. I love that Tom gets overwhelmed and goes for a walk with his Grandad. It ticks a lot of boxes, this one.

Five Gold Rings

The Night Before The Night Before Christmas is a fine example of Richard Scarry's chaotic picture books. Chaotic in the sense that there is so much going on which makes them challengin to read aloud. Try saying Mr Frumble's Ski-pickle-do in the midst of an epic bedtime. However, this Christmas book is worth the effort as it does have a nice feel to it. It is also about being helpful which is noice.

Four Calling Birds (Mog would like that)

Mog's Christmas  & Mog's Christmas Calamity.
As huge Judith Kerr fans we are thrilled to be able to put two Mog Christmas books on our shelves. The original book is like a pair of comfy slippers- soft, familiar, and ripe smelling. Hang on- that might just be Matt. Forgive me -Christmas is the time for shoddy jokes.  feel like part of the family. I am always amused at the  simple but spot-on (like the flea treatment) detail of life from the cat's point of view. Mog's fear of the walking, talking tree reminded me of my own cat and her fears. The original is still the better of the two in my humble opins. 

I am not sure about the new Sainsbury's advert with the CGI Mog but we like the new book. Matt loves a fire engine and I like the feel good ending. However, [spoiler alert] I could live without the fire at the heart of the book. It is a book for the picture book market so I am not sure it needed to go that far. The book is called a Christmas calamity not a life threatening crisis. It can be forgiven, however, seeing as the proceeds go to Save The Children so it really has been produced in the spirit of Christmas.

Three French Hens

Father Christmas by Raymond Briggs has informed my understanding of the big fella more than any other book. I loved the sheer domesticity of it when I was younger. The voyeur in me has always liked prying into the household scenes with FC too. It is a little laborious trying to read this comic strip format and its minimal text to a preschooler. It is worth it, though. Matt does question why this FC is grumpy but it has taught Matt to use the word bloomin' which amuses me greatly. Matt has pointed out that there is a distinct lack of workshop but it has not put us off. He loves us to cuddle up and read this book.

Two Turtle Doves

Olivia Helps With Christmas is a throughly modern take on a children's Christmas book. I Love this book with a capital L. Olivia amuses me and I feel a great affinity with her parents. Matt likes pigs and Christmas so he is willing to accept a gilt as the main character. It is an amusing tale of the rituals of waiting, preparing, and enjoying Christmas as a family. As well as the multitude of ways children try to help and how the parents must hold their breaths. It reminds me of a time when I would let Matt help me to wash my hair. It would hurt, only be washed at the front, and I swear he peed in the jug the one time. Back to the book- Matt loves the scene with the Christmas tree. You will just have to find out what happens for yourselves.

A Partidge in a Pear Tree.
Our sixpence in the pudding and our star at the top of the book tree is The Jolly Christmas Postman. We like The Jolly Postman but the seasonal version of this book is a real cracker (ho hum). It has plenty of activities for busy little hands which is a blessing and a curse for bedtime but let's stay in the Christmas spirit. It also has the loveliest scene (second only to Sophie stroking her face with the tiger's tale) of the postman battling the blizzard to find his way to the warm and bright Santa's workshop. 

This scene also contains one of my favourite pieces of writing in any children's book.

It really draws you into that late winter's afternoon, does it not?

If you are going to pin me down for a moral core to the book we can look to the humble postman who works tirelessly. We can mention the kindness between friends e.g. Goldilocks and also the temporary festive forgiveness between enemies e.g The Wolf. It is all there. Even a peep show for the postman. Make of that what you will.

There you have it. I wonder what books you think we have overlooked? I would love to hear your favourite seasonal reads. Especially if you write them down on an envelope containing a book voucher and pop it in my stocking. 

Of course there is another rather famous Christmas story. Matt has been interested in the nativity story since last year when he dressed up as Joseph. He spent weeks playing Baby Jebus's Dad the carpenter in the shed in the garden. The idea of a baby being born in a stable pretty much blows Matt's mind. What more could he want in a story?

I do find children's versions of the nativity too remote for the modern Matt. So, I decided to write my own. I split it into 24 sections and popped them into his advent envelopes so that each day we have an installment of the story of the nativity from the donkey's point of view. The underlying message being that Christmas is about sharing your hay with anyone who needs it. An important lesson for my little Farmer Christmas. 

Whatever Christmas means to you we hope that you have everything you need and all the books that you can read.

The Boy Who Does Not Want To Fall Asleep

The boy's mother will not bore you (much) with all the nocturnal details of the last four years but it is suffice to say that, for Matt, sleeping is definitely cheating. He is not a fan of bedtime, night time, the dark, dreaming, or being alone. We have put his reluctance down to hunger, teething, illness, daylight savings, the light, the dark, the noise, the quiet, etc. All plausible reasons. The most recent excuse, and the most disconcerting, was when Matt declared that the reason he does not like the dark is because he can see things that other people can't see. Yikes, Scooby. 

We have tried a multitude of ways to gently encourage Matt to go to sleep and stay asleep (except consistency). We had a musical cot toy when he was a bairn but when the batteries ran out it said 'NOIGHTY NOIGHT' in a slow scary drawl which gave me the fear. Most notably we bought a Gro Clock. These clocks aim to help the child stay in bed until the sun rises on the face of the clock.However our experience did not go like clockwork. Firstly, the 'fun bedtime story' that comes with the clock failed to inspire us. The rhymes are cringeworthy and the story is weak particularly when the animals saved money in a sock to buy their friend a clock. Isn't that just unnecessary outsourcing of the role of a cockerel? These things went over Matt's head and he liked the farm animals. He also liked having his own clock too. However, the first night he woke up after a couple of hours and when I reminded him of our new world order his reply was 'what clock?' The second night he woke up after a couple of hours and again denied all knowledge of the clock. The third morning Matt woke up at some ridiculously early hour and we pointed out it was not time to get up as the sun wasn't on the clock. He declared 'I can sort that' and pressed the button to make the sun appear. Needless to say we notched that up as another Matt win. 

We have come to accept that Matt needs help to find his way to the land of nod. That is fine. However I am always interested to hear about any innovation that claims to halt the sleep thief in his tracks. So I was delighted when I was given The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep for my birthday. The lovely Mrs Smith pointed out that even though it was a children's book if it worked it would be a great gift for me. I had heard about the book and was interested in the claim to be a new way to help your children get to sleep. I was keen to give it a try as soon as. I waited for the evening to arrive though as the book actually states it should not be read aloud if someone is driving. I guess that is sound is advice if the reader is also the driver.

Evening one with the rabbit: We sat on Matt's bed and I showed him the book. He looked non plussed at the cover and asked what it was called. I enlightened him and he screwed up his face. I feared I was losing him already so I dived straight in without reading the instructions at the front. Shocking I know. We had just read the first sentence when Matt yawned. OOOhhhhh how exciting- could this be working already? Err no. He soon started fidgeting and interrupting. He proceeded to close the book and declare that 'this will take ages. Not tonight.' It is ironic that although Matt is never in a hurry to go to sleep he finds this book too long. That night I expected a quick transition to a dream state but Matt asked for four other stories. The night of all nights arrived and the boy did not sleep until 11 pm. To be fair he did have a cough and I had to calpol him. So, book versus calpol- calpol wins. Evening two, Matt immediately said he was too tired for the book! I guess that is an indirect win for the book? Evening three Matt was sceptical of my attempt to foist the book on the reading pile again and found it a permanent place on the bookshelf. Not exactly a success. I think there are two main problems for us. 

Problem one is the book's problem. It does not look like the other books that we read. The cover, the illustrations, and the amount of text, do not engage Matt. I have read the book myself and I appreciate the psychological rationale behind it. I understand that the repetition of relaxing words like YAWN, the sleep powder and the muted illustrations (sinister according The Dad) have a key role but the relaxation techniques overshadow the story. It is overt rather than subliminal. Whilst it could be a winner from the parents' point of view it fails to achieve the first rule of a bedtime book which is to make the child want it to be read.  I would suggest it could be a touch more more Michelle Robinson and less Paul McKenna.

The second problem is with my son! Sort of. Matt has the potential to be the best candidate for testing this book as he is the boy who really does not want to sleep. But because of this Matt does not see what he has in common with the rabbit who wants to. The title has made him deeply suspicious of the book. So on the one hand I would say that this book is a hit as it definitely gives off a soporific aura but because it is so obvious it is just not for Matt. I understand that such processes of relaxation only work when the individual is open to suggestion. Thus the reluctant sleeper will find it harder to engage with the title and the process. He simply does not want to sleep. Words like sleepy and yawn do not induce relaxation. When this young colt hears such words,  with or without emphasis, he rears up. This is a horse that needs to be led in to the sleep box backwards. So, Mrs Smith,  I wholeheartedly appreciate the gesture, and fully trust your book judgment but this one hasn't delivered yet. Maybe we need a horse whisperer rather than a rabbit book. No probs if you have already bought books for Christmas though.

So the question remains what is the solution for the boy who does not want to fall asleep? 

Of course books are the answer just not as directly as the wabbit one.(Except in the case of illness when TV in my bed is the answer- I never claimed to be Supernanny). Reading a good book or two is enough relaxation in itself. We read what Matt wants to read (mostly) and we stay close. Some nights, once in a blue moon, he gifts me a one-booker of a night but sometimes I have to cap it at four or five. There are some books that are not conducive to an easy bedtime. Matt's reluctance to read this book is on a par with my reluctance to read certain other books at night time.  My lovely pal Mrs Williams has upstairs and downstairs books. We have day books and nighttime books. Day books are mostly those that involve activities, questions, lots of text or require excess effort! The prime example that springs to mind is one that The Dad tries to use his powers of suggestion to get Matt to ask me to read. The book in question is the very splendid What Do People Do All Day? There is just too much going in there for bedtime!

The second phase of a relaxing bedtime is for the parent to remain calm too. Some nights this is easier than others. But try we might. Once Matt's book sesh has finished I sit beside the bed and read my book. Not out loud I might add as I am not sure he is ready for Game of Thrones. A good book is my way to ride the bedtime wave- waving not drowning. I now have all the time in the world for him to fall asleep. By all I mean not all- I do have my list to write for tomorrow. And there is cake downstairs...The other benefit of my own reading at Matt's bedtime is that I am showing him how books are the givers of peace and the vessels of calm. Books have always been an important of Matt's winding down routine but I had not realised that they could be the key to keeping me relaxed at his bedtime too. 

If the rabbit book works for you and your willing participant- fab stuff. Maybe one day it will work for us. But for now I will keep ploughing through a ton of books to reach the same end- a calm, rested, boy who feels connected and safe enough to sleep. The popular parenting books and TV shows may say I have made a rod for my own back or call for boundaries and independence. I say he is four. I am cheaper than a gro clock, more engaging than a bestselling book, and usually less scary than an musical cot toy. I am also the only thing he wants. He said it succinctly the other night- 'I just need cuddles and I just like company'. How can I refuse that? Although I do like to point out to him that cuddles and company are also available in the day too.

If you too have had problems with your child sleeping you could always read them this post and see if that works?! Yawn. Noighty Noight!

That which we seek.

That which we receive. On the landing. Asking about the differences between eyelashes and eyebrows. Shall we discuss it tomorrow instead, son?

There's Nothing Like A Bit Of Healthy Competition

You know when you have a nugget of an idea and you share it with someone and then they run with it and then you find yourself racing around town trying to win a book challenge. Yeah? Me too. 

On a play date with our buddies from Giftsfromthepirates I mentioned that it would be fun to do a charity shop book challenge where we see who can get the best selection of children's literature. Pauly loved the idea and it was game on.

The morning arrived and I was pumped. I was more than match ready. I excitedly told Matt what the day had in store but then my team mate stuck the boot it with 'there isn't any room for more books on my shelf.' Whilst this is almost true I felt deflated. I had to have a good changing room talk with him about how you can NEVER EVER have too many books. Only when he had agreed to give 110% (intensely dislike that phrase) did we head off to whoop the pirates.

We started the day on friendly terms with a group trip to the library. It is an inspiring building- at least from the outside- and we hoped it would set the tone for our book day. Matt asked if the man on the chair was a story teller. I love how he came up with that idea but no, son, that's Charles Darwin. The Other Parent tells me he built the local shopping centre or somet.

The library was hosting a session for little ones so we grabbed some books and took our notsolittleones to sit in the teen section. The books there looked a little more adult than the Judy Blumes I was happy to read back in the day. The boys were only interested in their haul though.

Pauly kicked things off by reading a couple of stories.

An odd lady with wild hair read another.

The boys started sniffing around for food so we had to leave the library.

Happy boy. Honest. As long as you feed him regularly. As in 'stop typing, Mother, and open this, peas'.

I cannot advocate eating in the library (we shall ignore the 1996-1999 period of my life when I regularly consumed purple Nik-Naks in the basement of the Brotherton Library in Leeds. Lunch I think it was called back then) so we sat outside by Darwin. Whilst the boys snacked us grown ups discussed the precious rules for the competition:

£5 to spend. 

No shoplifting

No fighting

No books from home- I possibly accused the other team of this, oops. 

We had to see what books we could find for our budget and choose one as a gift for the opposing team.

And then suddenly we were under starter orders...

G'wun Matt

Matt and I headed for Oxfam Books. I thought this was a stealth move. I was delighted to find a Christmas section and immediately snatched up Tolkien's Letters from Father Christmas and How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I was just sizing up the children's section when Matt announced that he needed a wee. I quickly paid and we took a time out. We found the loos just in time but not before we had walked in on a lady who evidently had not locked her door. We shook off that experience and got back in the game.

I tried to keep it fun for Matt but the five minutes of timewasting had made me sweat a little. We headed to another charity shop and Matt spied a dinosaur. It was not a book and it walked and roared. I was stuck in a deep dark moral quandary and caved immediately. He did have £2 in his pocket to spend on something he found he absolutely must have. I was contractually obliged to purchase it and I figured it would boost team morale. I was just peeved that it was not something smaller or quieter. He promised it would encourage him to keep his mind on the game so off we went to the next shop.

The plan was to meet back up at twelve for lunch and to be joined by our pals Lucie and Martha who were to be our adjudicators. Pauly tried to steal another 30 mins but nothing gets in the way of our lunch time. Nothing.

The Referees

Holding back our trove, we both declared that still had a pound or so left so we headed off for round two. We found a shop with books as cheap as 10p so I spent the rest of my money there. Lucie got stung for a Tiger book that cost a pound and ran out of battery within the hour. My lowest point was finding an Olivia book and having no money left. It still hurts now.

I turned my frown upside down when we met back up at the cafe in the Museum. 

We played at reindeer whilst we awaited our hot chocolates. See an emerging Christmas theme developing?

The results:

We bought:
The Father Christmas Letters
How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Mr Popper's Penguins
Ladybird's Little Red Tractor: Bye Bye Blue
The Young Rider
Hubert Horatio Bartle Bobton-Trent
Dinosaur Atlas

They bought:
Harry and The Dinosaurs Make a Christmas Wish
Nessie Needs New Glasses
Yo Yo King
Mini Beasts
The Way Back Home
Roald Dahl Skin
Old Nursery Rhyme Annual

We gifted the Dinosaur Atlas and Mr Popper's Penguins to the pirates. They gifted us with Dahl's adult book Skin and the old annual. The annual was our gift because I had been saying how I love books with character. I do like seeing the traces in a book left by other people before me (a name, a message, not so much hair or stains). This book had Helen Partington's name, writing, colouring, and pages coming out. A real character indeed.

Ah the joy of books

We all enjoyed ourselves but then the inevitable question of who won reared its ugly head.

We all looked to the judges. Lucie deferred to Martha who undiplomatically granted the others the win. I called for a steward's inquiry seeing as the refs accepted the bribe of an Oliver Jeffer's book.

I held my breath waiting for Matt to loudly express his disappointment at losing. But in a last minute shocker Matt declared that we were all winners! And a few moments later, when Opeie told Matt that you don't get extra points for stepping on the lines on the pavement but you actually get lasered, Matt shocked me again. He uttered some words I had not yet heard in four years: 'ok, we'll try it your way'. Now, that is being a good sport. And that, my friends, is a result.

If anyone knows a Helen Partington (or nee Partington) possibly of Shrewsbury, please tell her not to be so rigorous with her books although we have very much enjoyed her penmanship. If she would like to be reunited with her nursery rhyme annual please get in touch (with £1, some sellotape, and proof of handwriting).

Pleasez excusez some of the book links- some publishers no longer hosted details for said books and I could not trace the publishing details of others. Judge me not harshly. I tried as much as I could be bothered for this time of night.